Saturday, December 24, 2005

Man I''ll never ever understand women..no matter how much I try I can never understand them...

Sunday, November 27, 2005

while(1)

This is how I felt today while crossing the road...
dono what's gonna happen to this city...

Friday, November 11, 2005

fat chicks that wear *hot* clothes

you know what i'm talking about...not just clothes that don't fit.. but clothes that say stuff like "hottie" or "cutie" on them. The only chicks I've seen wearing this sort of crap are somewhere between chunky and disgustingly obese.

and the thongs! ..don't want to see those thong sticking out of pants! they're twice(or may be thrice) as wide as I am!

My words for them: you're not hot, you're not cute, you're in a pathetic state of *denial masked only by your extrinsic cotton narcissism*(what ever that means). get over it!

peace(solace).

* I've seen the same types of chicks wearing shirts that say stuff like "I'm a total bitch" on them, so I could have referred to them as *bitches*. Those items of clothing may be the most honest in their wardrobes. But somehow, my conscience denies..good for them.

Kisses To The World!

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

--- Proverbs 24:26

What could be more unmannerly than
being deceptive?

--- Peggy Post

Friday, August 19, 2005

Worst Case Analysis...

Surely my Algorithmics classes dint taught me to aplly Worst Case Analyses to real world life problems.
But, then why is is that I have started applying this to each and every walk of my life...Still wondering!!

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Woke up just....

Woke up just now with a call from home.
Papa said its 11:44am what about breakfast,
now how shlould i tell him i never take bfast
it is not something worth spoiling my sleep.
Only two days i can eat..what ever crap they give..
so why to take risk its better to sleep.
In my terms..sleeping or doing something/reading/studying
is never a timewaste.
I remember in childhood dadaji use to teach,one should take bath ideally
before sunrise.Or atleast should be awake before
time when sun is right on the head say 8-9 am.

But i am sleeping in night at about 4 for last 20 days
so no chance to getup before 8.Irony is that first
thing i do is always to switch on my laptop,i haven't
brushed my teeth yet....:( now on orkut i should
include that i cant live withut my comp also..:D

I waste my all time on this dumb gadget made by
few intelligent humanoids.Last night i was reading
tragic story of "Rizwaan Butt" he was engaged
last month in second week of april but expired
on 1st May in a car accident.He was still replying
for the congratulation notes of his friends.Read all
what i possibly can get on orkut.He was very lively
person according to his friends and the scraps they
had written before and after his death.He was with
his fiancee for last five years,I really cant imagine
what mental states she might be going through.

I really dont know what to say,in such situations
people use to pray to god for you but dont have clue
for that also what should i ask for you from god.

Hope god will give you enough strength to bear
the loss.People start writing in his scrapbook just
after 20 minutes of his death.And then were normal
in their daily routine and enjoyment after few days.
Some said very aptly that people has very short
term memory.

I was cursing one of my mates for the whole day as he just
became extinct after taking my book.:((((

I really hate two words Please and Sorry.People
always use these for their own means.With one they
expect me to do anything for them with other they
can do anything with me..:(((

Its time now to brush my tooth..:D

Al Pacino Fever

He is GOD!!!!!!!!!

Watching his all movies available...
Godfather trio and Scarface finished,today will
watch Scent of a Women.His performance in above
four flicks were superb,flawless.The scene between
him and his brother Fredo in Godfather II when he
came to know that fredo deceived him was The Best,
he kissed his brother and said "I KNOW IT WAS YOU
FREDO!!!...YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!....YOU BROKE MY HEART!!!"
Just see how excellently he did it.God you are great!!!
Right now all my signature in mails, status on yahoo
messenger are his dialogue from the movies!!!!

Probably will write more in night.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Sounds Similar?

<----snip-----
@BlueScreen: ASSERT
/build/mts/release/bora-14857/bora/modules/vmkernel/vmfs3/fs3file.c:2688
0x3427e20:[0x62af54]_vLog+0x0(0x9a3104, 0x3427e3c, 0x3427e44)
0x3427e30:[0x62af54]_vLog+0x0(0x9a3104, 0x9a30c0, 0xa80)
0x3427e44:[0x990c1f]Fil3FileType+0x67(0x0, 0x3427ec0, 0x3427ec4)
0x3427ed4:[0x98dcc6]Fil3_Readdir+0xc6(0x5619680, 0xeb, 0x0)
0x3427f10:[0x7c93cf]FSS_Readdir+0x83(0x2296fc8, 0xeb, 0x0)
0x3427f3c:[0x618e1f]HostFSReaddirFn+0x87(0x2296fc8, 0x12b6dc4, 0x0)
0x3427f78:[0x6616e3]helpFunc+0x1ef(0x1, 0x0, 0x0)
0x3427ffc:[0x7828a2]CpuSched_StartWorld+0x23a(0x0, 0x0, 0x0)
VMK uptime: 0:03:54:36.942 TSC: 39315510476564
lastClrIntrRA = 0x62af54
Starting coredump to disk Starting coredump to disk Dumping using slot 1 of 1...
using slot 1 of 1...
----snip--->

Sounds junk???
This is what I have to deal with daily..:(

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Insight..

Many of the so-called "technical experts", working for companies like Dell,HP,MS, are only expert in their ability to read a slightly-longer and more detailed instruction manual than that which is given to the software/hardware user herself.
Other than this i coul'd find more so called "intellegence".

PS: Personel views..although comments are welcome.

Grand Theory of 'ASS'

This weekend I was in a supermarket and I noticed that almost all of the middle-aged women had big asses while a corresponding number of middle-aged men had little or no ass to speak of. And it got me wondering: is there some cosmic ass balance that needs to be preserved? Is ass-size a zero-sum game?

After chastising myself for looking at middle-aged asses, another thought occurred to me: is there a direct link between male ass loss and female ass gain? In other words, are men's asses emitting some ass particle or ass wave that gets collected by women's asses? Are we surrounded by these butt particles or waves, travelling invisibly three feet off the ground? Would tin foil underpants negate this effect?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

What I got from that CS degree

I do not think it’s that. The whole point of getting the degree is to use it, and I admire anyone who steps out into the real world to see if what they’re learning matches up with the real world. Getting some experience while still in school is one of the things I am most proud of, now that I think about it.

Maybe it’s because I know how intimadating it can be to get your first internship/training. At my first one, I soon found out that what I knew was very small compared to what I didn’t knew. I needed to set up very mundane tasks and felt disoriented about not knowing how to: set up a web server, install another OS, type up a report progress, clean/take apart computers, etc for instance. I didn’t knew the answers and I had to look for them. What I learned is that I was not going to have all the answers, but that I needed to make sure that I knew when to find them.

In hindsight, that was quite liberating.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Confessions of an Imposter

Write bad documentation that looks good

Intro

In every tech's life, there comes a time when management starts to insist on better documentation.

Perhaps a round of layoffs or outsourcing is imminent. Perhaps the simmering disdain between techs and management has escalated into open hatred. Either way, you are clearly on the way out, and management wants to grease the wheels for your successor.

Objectives

You wish to produce documentation that:

  • will impress your management, and facilitate your remaining time in that job.
  • will not substantially help your replacement(s).
  • does not betray obvious signs of sabotage.
General Principles
  • Writing good documentation is hard.
  • Your management does not understand how complicated the situation really is.
  • Your manager sincerely believes that more documentation is better.
  • As the amount of documentation increases, so does the effort required to maintain it.
  • To fully understand any situation, you need to know the 5 W's, i.e. Who, What, Where, When, and Why.
  • In general, documenting "what" is not nearly as valuable as documenting "how" and/or "why". "What" can be discovered with a little effort, but the reasons "why" are often obscure and complicated. Your most valuable asset in your current job might be your detailed understanding of why everything is set up the way it is.
  • Complex systems generally have several interdependent components. Often, the relationship between these components is a tricky affair, finely tuned after months or years of tweaking.
Concrete suggestions

More is not better

It is easy to produce impressive quantities of paper by documenting the very obvious and/or completely useless.

Spend lots of time on the appearance and presentation of your documentation. Your management is easily distracted by shiny things, and will not realize that your binders contain information that could easily be recreated by anyone.

Creating bad documentation is time consuming, and makes you look very busy. You can use your documentation as an excuse to avoid real work, or perhaps to con a few more days of employment.

One insidious consequence of overly detailed documentation is the maintenance required. Recording trivial changes is very time consuming. However, unmaintained documents quickly become inaccurate and misleading, arguably worse then no documentation at all.

Example 1

A sysadmin could make a binder for each server with serial #s, driver diskettes, partition images burnt onto CD, etc. Include lots of obvious hardware and software settings, i.e IRQs, driver revisions, patchlevels, IP addrs, MAC addrs, etc.

Routers and switches should also get a binder with appropriate h/w and configuration information.

A programmer might bulk up documentation with information about trivial internal functions and macros.

Never tell "why"

Never describe what problems you've encountered, or how you solved them.

Do not explain what task each program or machine is doing. Do not explain the interactions of any systems, or which programs/machines depend on other programs or machines.

A programmer should never call attention to global variables, or functions with side-effects.

Example 2

In the past, there have been problems with running out of a particular resource (disk/RAM/bandwidth/whatever) on a particular machine. You have written a script to help predict when this problem is about to occur.

do:
  • Document the existence of this script
  • Document what inputs the script requires
  • Document what output the script produces
do not:
  • Document what condition the script was written to detect, or the consequences of that condition.
extra credit:
  • Modify the script to examine additional machines and/or resources. This will help obscure the true purpose of the script.
  • Parameterize the script so that it can examine several different machines and/or resources. Make the default action something plausible but irrelevant, and manually provide sensible parameters when you invoke the script. If your script is a cron job, make it produce a few extra reports every day. The more automagic logs one receives, the less attention is paid to them.
An ounce of disorganization is worth a pound of confusion

You can achieve maddening results by carefully fragmenting your documentation.

A well-written "principles of operation" document that describes the big picture is worth a million pages of detailed trivia. Your "special" documentation should therefore meticulously detail the trees, while scrupulously ignoring the forest.

Example 3

Would it be more frustrating to learn Unix system administration by only reading man pages, or an overview which referred to specific man pages where appropriate?

Which would cause more grey hairs?

  • A network diagram listing all servers, and their IP addresses
  • A set of detailed documents, one per server. Each server document consistently records the IP address on page 13.

Which of these documents is worth the paper it is printed on?

  • A 1 page document listing all global variables
  • A large document with a detailed entry for each variable, listed alphabetically.

Theoretically, your trouble ticket system contains all the information you've been trying to obfuscate. In practice, all such systems exemplify the flaws we've discussed: poor organization, too much irrelevant detail and too little discussion of "why".

At best, your trouble ticket database is full of sketchy problem descriptions and meaninglessly vague resolution fields. More likely, the ticket database is an incoherent work of speculative fiction that doesn't contain records for many changes.

Afterword:

Most technical documentation suffers from the above flaws without even trying to be evil. Commercial software documentation is execrable, and in-house documentation is worse, especially when produced in accordance with a formalized documentation standard.

The above article is a satire meant to help you write good documentation. Honest.